"Get some self-respect!" AKA why I am a buzzkill at Sasquatch

Recently I was at the Sasquatch Music Festival at the Gorge Ampitheatre. I am continually surprised by how many women think it's totally appropriate to wear a bikini just because it's over 70 degrees out, even though they're at a concert festival and there is no chance of being able to swim in the river. Alas, I digress.

There were a couple of times when women (actually, I might as well just say 'girls' because I'm quite sure they were all under 20) were shown on the big screen and decided to pull their shirts up and show their breasts. While some other people are wooing and cheering, I'm the buzzkill up on the hill yelling "Get some self-respect!"

I posted a quick comment on Facebook about the situation and my response to it, and had a friend send me a message asking me if I've read the book I Am Not a Slut by Leora Tanenbaum. Part of this books' summary on Harper Collins reads:

"Young women are encouraged to express themselves sexually. Yet when they do, they are derided as 'sluts.' Caught in a double bind of mixed sexual messages, young women are confused. To fulfill the contradictory roles of being sexy but not slutty, they create an 'experienced' identity on social media - even if they are not sexually active - while ironically referring to themselves and their friends as 'sluts.'"

As a disclaimer, this is my blog and only represents my opinions :) And I am still trying to figure out my own opinions so if I say something that you disagree with or want to dialogue on more please let me know. I am just trying to figure this stuff out too. 

Here are some of my thoughts:

Part of the reason why girls/women that show their boobs on the big screen at a concert bother me is I don't think they're doing it for themselves. They're not doing it to feel good about themselves; they're doing it to show their bodies to other people. And to a point I think these girls feel like it’s expected that they do so, and that we are only to be judged on our bodies. If the crowd didn't hoot and holler at women who lift their tops, I think there would be much less encouragement to show one's breasts to thousands of strangers. And that’s why I think that some of these girls have a lack of self-respect. They’re brainwashed by our culture that sexually objectifies women, and they are self-objectifying to the point that the only thing they have to show is their body, namely their naked breasts. They don't respect themselves or anything that they are beyond what they have to offer sexually. 

I do wonder in the summary for I Am Not a Slut where this encouragement for young women to express themselves sexually is coming from. My biggest guess is that pressure comes from the friggin media that glorifies porn stars and half naked (actually WAY more than half naked…. more like 95% naked) pop stars that are supposedly the epitome of how a young women is supposed to look and behave. Which of course I have to call BS on all that… but that’s a whole other blog post. And the whole “young women referring to their friends as sluts” thing – yeah, we need to move past that. I will admit that, along with many women of my generation, I thought it was hilarious in Mean Girls when Regina says to Karen “Boo, you whore!” I also may have used that line with friends in the past. BUT I do think it’s time to for women to support and encourage one another, and calling someone a slut or a whore (even in jest) tears us all down. It makes men think it’s okay to call us that too, or for women we aren’t friends with to call us those things as well (and for us to do the same).

I do have to call out some of my own inconsistencies, though. My argument in this blog has been that women need self-respect and a woman that respects herself will not show her boobs on a jumbotron and that if she has the desire to do so it’s because she is being sexually objectified and objectifying herself to fulfill the media’s “expectations” of her. Okay, yep, that’s all well and good. However, I know that I fall prey to this in other categories. For example, I wear makeup. Do I wear makeup because society tells me to? Or do I wear makeup because I like it? OR, even more confusingly, is it impossible to separate the two? Would I even think about makeup or liking makeup if it wasn’t socially expected?

At the end of the day, I think part of the key to feminism and female empowerment is women truly knowing themselves, at the deepest part of their souls. When we are true to ourselves and act in a way that is in accordance with our hearts, and we encourage other women to act the same, that is a step in the right direction. And we should continue to sharpen our minds and strengthen our hearts by reading, volunteering at a food bank, caring for our friends and strangers.... all these things will remind us that we are indeed more than our bodies and we are holistic, beautiful people regardless of the clothes we were or the makeup we cake on our faces. 

What do you think? Would you read a book called I Am Not a Slut? Would you yell at girls showing their boobs on the jumbotron? Would you show your boobs on the jumbotron?

Let me know what you're thinking.